I'm too disorganised to do blogmas posts every day but with Christmas around the corner I've prepared for you some of the most interesting festive updates.
I don't know if anyone has ever heard of Christmas tradition in Poland. If so, you probably think Xmas here is an essence of beauty and kindness. Well sorry for saying it but that's bull shit. Christmas in Poland is nothing than festival of hypocrisy and duplicity covered with a mask of hospitality. Let me show you the dark side of festive season in my country.
MOST ANNOYING THINGS ABOUT XMAS IN POLAND
1. Killing the carps.
One of the most popular festive customs is eating a fried fish on Christmas Eve's dinner. Sounds harmlessly but the thing is you have to go to the shop, buy a living swimming little fish, kill it with your own hands, gut it and then fry. Is it a sign of peace?
I think if instead of a fish someone had to kill a dog, they wouldn't do it (at least I hope so) but fishes can't make any sound so nobody cares, right? T o t a l l y c h r i s t m a s s y!
2. Breaking the wafer.
The idea of breaking the wafer is not bad itself, you meet closest people and give them lovely Christmas wishes. What can be more beautiful than that?
The problem is breaking the wafer became an unpleasant duty you just have to fulfil. So you meet people who you literally hate and wish them all the best. You have to spretend being nice to your work mate who keeps on informing your boss about everything you do at work and wish him career success or you have to smile to that blond bitch who's constantly flirting with your boyfriend and wish her lots of love although you'd rather to rip all the hair of her head off.
Breaking the wafer isn't nothing more but celebration of falseness.
3. An empty seat at the table.
While eating the dinner on Christmas Eve we have one empty seat at the table which should be a symbol of kindness and hospitality. Theoretically it means we're willing to host anyone who feels sad or lonely or has no one to celebrate with. Practically that's another cracker because no strangers are welcome on Christmas dinner. Most of the polish families want to eat their dinner with calmness, not disturbed by anyone.
The question is why the f*ck they leave that empty seat when they don't want nobody's company?
4. Omnipresent trash.
Before Christmas in Poland there is a rat race for perfection. All the housewives start a competition for the tastiest cakes for Xmas, the most beautifully decorated houses or the most expensive gifts for their children. That desire for being perfect very often takes ridiculous forms. For example houses are literally covered with trashy cheap Christmas decorations from the roof to the ground and Christmas Eve dinner is made of 16 (!) meals because 12 looks poorly.
5. Family meetings.
There is nothing bad about gathering your family together unless ten or more distant relatives come to visit you.
The issue is when your house is suddenly full of old ladies who aren't even your family and who keep asking if you already have a boyfriend (or plan to have a child) and giving you advices what you can do better next Christmas.